My third day back since I moved to Wales and I am finding it eerily quiet without the hustle and bustle of my family and their lifestyle. I enjoyed getting up and going to a job everyday, that I enjoyed, and coming home in the evening to chaos. Nice chaos, talking, shouting, laughing, cooking, friends and family popping in. I don't have a busy social life that involves me going out partying like a lot of people my age, but I make time for friends and family. Time for myself has often been left to watching tv. I have forgotten how nice it is to do other things. I enjoy not having the tv on and burning my nag champa incense. It takes me back to my childhood, when I had other things to do other than killing braincells through the tv screen.
I miss the hot summers that seemed endless, where we had lots of sunshine and lots of camping holidays, mostly in Somerset, where I always envied the adults drinking cider and staying up all night under the stars. However, I loved running around like a wild child, and growing up with a hippy flavoured mum and 'Welsh Aunt;' (I believe this is the correct term for chosen family) and relaxing as close to nature as I will probably ever get. As an adult I seemed to have developed OCD and as much as I would love to camp again, I'm not sure how much public showers and dirt I can take.
The hot summers seem to have dissipated and leave England with the stereotype I feel foreigners give the country, of rain, wind and the cold. As a cold person myself I feel outraged that the sun would leave me and my fond childhood memories, however, moving back to Wales, seems to have reopened some of my past spirituality.
Perhaps it is as I am on my own truly for the first time, but I feel now I can makes changes, try new things. In this small town where I need a car to get anywhere, I feel now is the chance to do things I've always wanted to do. Like knitting, my grandmother taught me several times, but she was left handed, whether she taught me that way not I don't remember but I remember feeling frustrated mine never looked the same. I have always wanted to knit scarves for friends and family at Christmas and now in my old cold flat with winter approaching, love the idea of trying to knit my own blanket to snuggle up in.
I have also wanted to grow my own fruit and veg for a while, without a garden I'm clearly not going to be growing much, which is a disappointment so I should probably start with something like herbs or mint, for which I should also check if it's the season for it. I have for many years felt that I'm a natural born killer, not green-fingers as many of my plants have died over the years. I recall the catnip I insisted on planting with mum in our back garden, which was instantaneously flattened by our cats of the time. As a human I learn from my mistakes. Though I have owned two small quaint cacti plants for about 6 years now if not 7, and they're still alive.
I also have the strong urge to try and get back into art, which I used to love and was put off by exam boards in school. I wish to paint mermaids ( with inspiration for a future tattoo perhaps), faeries and things that catch my eye. Perhaps take up photography which I tried when I was 14, but out of sheer laziness refused to carry a bloody camera everywhere I go. How touristy!
I also wish to try and put the story I had develop in my mind when I was 14/15 to see how the story unfolds and see if I am any good at writing fiction after all.
Above all (whether I accomplish any of the above) I wish to succeed, work hard and follow things through in anything I begin.
0 comments:
Post a Comment